The most profound transformation during this 18 days that I have noticed (and it has only been one week!) is that I FINALLY have been able to let go of the feeling of needing alcohol. I realized that my whole life I used alcohol as a crutch to stabilize myself. While I officially gave up drinking 7 years ago, I still have always had those feelings of wanting a drink for many years. Even though I rarely, if ever, gave in to it, it was still there. During this 18 days, I was destabilized enough to where the feeling came up to the point where I went out and actually bought alcohol (haven’t done that in a long time), however, just as I was going to drink it, I had a very profound realization that my feeling like I need to drink is because I am destabilized and that is has been a crutch for me. Guess what happened next? I did not drink it because the feeling actually went away. This is such a huge thing for me because I have battled with alcohol my whole life. I realized there is a crack inside me that in the past was temporarily filled by alcohol (numbing the pain), but I don’t want that anymore.”*